August 27, 2016 Catherine Mendoza 3Comment

 

 

 

“Some people will try to hold back when letting go. Unfortunately, I’m one of them”.

A relationship is neither a one-way street nor love that works itself out. Even if you love the person so much, there’s always one thing that has to be sacrificed because as time passes by, love alone is just not enough.

There were times I believed that I was born for you, times that I crossed my fingers that you and I were created to make each other happy beyond our imperfections. But I guess, all I could only do was wishful thinking. I tried fighting our indifferences, the distance, the boredom that suddenly took shape and neither of us realized those fights were bound to end in some ways. We reached the point where we both got tired and just let things happen, and everything happened against one’s wishes. Maybe we were happy, or maybe we were not anymore.

We had many great moments while we were constantly seeing each other virtually. But distance, somehow, won over us and we couldn’t just ignore it. Things slowly became monotonous and rather cold. Cold shoulders, passionless conversations and waning feelings started to become evident. And slowly, because things were changing before we even realized, sometimes it hurt instead. No matter how much we tried to freeze out.

In this sense, when two people are far apart, it’s not always fun, it’s not always happy. It took us so long to cotton on that making each other happy was becoming a hard deal.

And because we’re not choosing to be blind or selfish, one day, we decided to go our separate ways–the last thing we didn’t want to do. One day, we realized that some things were not right. I guess everything has its limits and ending. Love wins–sure it does–but not all the time. Being realistic during tough situations can actually nourish us to be the real us. That opening our eyes will trigger our souls in a particular solitary moment we were trying to quell.

I always appreciate your kindness, your optimistic attitude towards everything. You taught me to be nice all the time wherever I am, whatever situation I’m in. You always see the good in everything. Thank you for loving me despite my imperfections. Thank you for standing by my side when everything almost went upside down. Thank you for all the ice cold bucket of jokes and laughter.

Moreno, I wish you’d never forget the look on my face when we first met, how I was afraid of falling in love again or being in a committed long distance relationship. I was afraid, because I would always be the girl you met, someone who was afraid to lose someone she loved. I was not looking for real love, but I always believed in the good in you.  I will miss you every hour, and in between those hours, every day, those lovely and intimate times we shared together like there was no tailed end. I’ll forever be thankful to you for the memories we created from our lost imaginations. Thank you for your endless patience, for your endless support and for your unconditional love.

Our relationship was not perfect, but we strove to make it one.

Loving someone is an easy thing to do, but because loving can sometimes shatter you, I am letting you go. It ain’t easy, but I need to.

If options were only created, I’d rather hold you tight and hold your hands, but my strength has been trounced by my weakness. I always believed we can conquer it, like those endless random small fights we were just laughing at. This pains us so much, sure it does. It hurts us more than we could ever imagine but time can heal everything. And only time can tell. We never can. Let us rest our hearts for now; they will be stitched back to normal before we knew it.

Let’s not forget that we are just two human beings loving someone we call our once in a lifetime. And because we’re not selfish human beings, we love so dearly and that’s normal.

Though we may be ending it this way, I want you to know that you’re one of the best people I’ve ever had and my door will always welcome you back. I have to let you go not because I want to but because I need to. This must be the best thing for the both of us, so we can grow and live our lives the way we want, and maybe the next time we meet, we’re both different persons. By that time, we have learned so much from the pains and heartaches.

Every pain is a different beginning.
Letting go doesn’t mean we’re forgetting everything beautiful we’ve shared; it only means choosing the better way to improve the version of ourselves. I love you. Goodbye.